Political & Elections

I'm wondering how long Mr B has been dating people, this time around.  It seems like maybe he didn't realize he would have tiredness problems that weekend, and is learning.

Anyway, the fact that he dated others in the last two weeks and "came back" (?) to you is good.

NJTheatreMom,

I am the owner and only moderator of this board. I am Mad Hatter/Samurai Landshark.Disapproving? You bet.

If I chose to shut it down in a heartbeat, I would.  I don't say that lightly, either.  It has taken a lot of effort to get it to this point and people come and go and we don't have the kinds of conversations we could because of our low numbers.  But honestly - I don't care.  I don't want to moderate people's sex lives...and yet, that's exactly what is now happening on that thread.  This was NOT my point for establishing a forum to discuss politics.  

This is not the kind of thread I thought it was going to be when *deleted name*  came to this board.  If I had understood what the real thread was about or where it was going to go, I probably would have not approved the signup.  

I have never been interested in hearing about other people's sex lives - and this week is no dfifferent.  I started the political board when CC cancelled ours.  I never liked the Parent's Cafe or Forum much, either.  I don't need people telling me where to find new sheets,  or bucket list ideas or whatever other mindless stuff happens there.  

If she doesn't want to hear opinions, starting and maintaining a blog where her opinion is the only one available is perfectly fine.  If she would rather only have comments of a positive nature, she can start her own discussion board where she can filter out the negative comments.  SHe has chosen the most public of formats to discuss this and yes, will likely hear more negative stuff.  That's how discussion boards work.  Often we disagree.  We all have points of view.

Some may be more or less valid than others, but the great thing about a discussion board is that usually people have suggestions to help random stangers. 

-- Edited by SamuraiLandshark on Tuesday 21st of February 2012 06:47:20 AM

-- Edited by SamuraiLandshark on Tuesday 21st of February 2012 06:52:13 AM

But why sleep with a guy who is in a "bad place emotionally" - whether married or single?  

It's a bad recipe for any kind of relationship.  It's a  perfect recipe for a one night stand...and after awhile, you will not like who you are, if you indulge in many of these. 

I am not a prude about sex, either - but I think you will find yourself in a pretty yucky place if you sleep with every man you date.  

Marriages don't end b/c of the women who sleep with married men.

I was married for 32 years-- that's not why my marriage is over.

I've never done it- have no idea if I'd do it again- had no idea it would go in that direction - and it was clear when the guy said "I love my wife" when questioned that he was somewhere else in his mind- and his marriage was toast long before he arrived in my hotel room.  I am not an accessory to a crime that was premeditated.  I don't want the guy as my long term relationship- -he's damaged goods and trouble, I did not move in for a purpose-- there are women who do so- that was not my agenda. We had a perfectly nice dinner and yoga practice night one- his body for sex was no where on my agenda.

I've thought about and over- and it's quite clear that this is his problem - I'd bet my divorce settlement that I was not the first nor the last one he's done this too.  BTW - he's only been married 5 years and he's 60 and allegedly his wife had never been married- so I imagine they are both players.

BadGirl,

Since I didn't read your thread on CC, I have no idea on the backstory, but I get the impression that you are now single and enjoying this very much. Understandable.

I could have put this is a PM, but since you are a recent poster who came just for the intention of sharing your sexual exploits, I feel like I can write this is in the thread.  

I will not, in a million years, understand why someone is willing to trash someone else's marriage, just because they are looking for a little fun and to get their groove back.  

There are plenty of single, divorced and widowed guys out there without intentionally logging in some miles with a man who is married.  It's hard enough staying married without people like you who are willing to get in the middle of someone else's marriage.  

You are willing to sleep around with married men and be someone's mistress? On purpose?  Honestly, this is really, really horrible.  People's marriages crumble all the time without **** like this.  

Your motivation for posting this is, what...exactly?  Support from others? Justification? Vindication?  Truly, I don't understand.  Part of me is thinking this was a troll thread and it should have been taken down at CC long before it did.  

This kind of thread has taken on a completely different territory than what I imagined it would be - an online dating thread - and I can see why you were locked out at CC.  It's offensive.  

You seem very proud of your exploits, but my opinion from what I have read so far is that I just feel sad for you and the damage you will inevitably cause to some family.  It takes two to tango, but you don't have to dance with someone who is married.  

I'm not blaming anyone for anything. I just think it's sleazy. If you think you deserve better, act like it.

Edited to add - BC, it has nothing to do with being a prude. I can assure you that I have never been called or considered a prude in my life. I have no problem with casual sex among consenting adults as long as both parties are honest about it. I draw the line at married men. It's just such an easy line to draw and not doing it reflects very poorly.

You can rationalize it all you want, *deleted name*.  It is your problem. You thought about it and figured if not you sleeping with him - then someone, else.  But it was you.  

Safe sex or not, the damage could be done.  You don't have to get an STD or pregnant or caught for a marriage to crumble or for distrust to set in.  Wifey could find a receipt or text messages or signs and it can be over.  Is that how you want to live, ruining someone's family? 

I know couples who have survived infidelity.  I also know some who haven't. Either way, stepping into someone else's territory is just not cool.  

I have been married more than 20 years.  I am pretty secure in my marriage. I trust my partner completely.  My husband used to travel quite a bit for his work and I never distrusted him that he would sleep with someone on the road.  But your post...gives me pause. 

I had no idea about any of the moderator stuff until I came here. I had no idea there were cloaked moderators. I had no idea who any of the moderators were. I've had posts deleted before but no warnings. I was accused (sort of) of being a moderator once. I was blissfully ignorant.

Newsweek, short article on Love. (Jesus cover)

or maybe it was, National Geo. about Dogs. (Dog cover)

Anyway, one of the zines. 

How ironic, 

Mods deleted even some of my sympathic posts. 

Gosh, BG, I could have told you what happens after 55. 

The post by Parent1986:

I'm curious of the following:

1.If your friend was posting his experiences with you in an Internet chat room, how would you feel about that?

2.Are you aware of sexually transmitted diseases? Who in this day and age has sex with a stranger - and yes, your encounter was with a stranger.

2.Why are you posting in this forum instead of a divorced persons' forum, which would be more appropriate to your subject matter? There are teens who frequent this forum, and I wonder why you would want them to be reading
about your attempts at sexy lingerie, "face hand" allusions, humiliations, bedroom preparations, erotic email exchange, emotional angst, neurotic thoughts, lose of control, and generally "not normal socially acceptable behavior", etc. You can be sure this thread is on multiple "teen" forums. I would think an academic would be especially aware of appearances of sexual impropriety. Try telling a cop to not read your posts if they don't like it as you did with other posters who questioned what you were writing.

3.There are men all over the Internet (not just in date sites) who exchange erotic email with women. Did you know this? Then, they share the emails sent to them with the rest of the office, or just keep them to arouse themselves for any reason, such as to be able to perform with their wives or alone.

4.Are you aware that you are describing stalking and harassing behavior on your part? Maybe you need to look up the definition?

FOLLOWED BY MY REPLY

Which was followed by an agreement with the mod to remove any discussion of what happened between me and Mr. B on our whirlwind weekend ... posts 421 to 653 removed saturday night

Thread removed no explanation Sunday morning and I was barred at that point - related to the quote "undermining mods"

MY REPLY TO PARENT 1986

Turbo-- Mr. B is 62. My bad- I should have stuck to my expressed desire and age range on Jdate-- 48 to 55-- I went too far over and got what I didn't want - an exhausted guy who couldn't sustain my energy. Live and learn -- 55 tops now on!

Thanks Pea - and I appreciate all your support!

^ parent 1986
gee-- I think it's a "parent cafe" -- that means -- the audience are people with kids in college and any topic is acceptable within reach. There are MODs-- feel free to report the posts you find objectionable and if the MODs agree- they will delete them. I do believe a few posts on fluffy matza balls were deleted a few hundred posts back when we discussed one of the early crazies who responded to me via jdate and had some ugly comment on stuff we will not revisit as per the MODs request.

I do believe you don't have the final say or any say on what's "appropriate" - dating experiences- no problem. I didn't start the thread with this intent to discuss a failed relationship. I have kept it remarkably clean and tasteful. I see nothing inappropriate and neither do the Mods-- if they did, they would delete any distasteful posts per CC guidelines. I am sensitive to keeping it clean. You're clearly offended-- so stop reading.

For that matter-- I have no idea where a "divorce website" might be-- but I actually have enjoyed the intelligence and like minded souls I have conversed with here on CC for years.
Feel free to repost my stuff on the divorce sites you seem to know of. Good luck with that.

Excuse me- ever hear of safe sex-- what makes you think I didn't practice safe sex or that I didn't vet the character. It's actually none of your business is it? If you need me to raise a point for the teen viewers- let me reiterate-- anyone having sex-- condoms are a must--for STDs and to avoid pregnancy.

I don't read the teen cafe-- if some teen saunters over to the parent cafe out of bordeom- I seriously doubt this thread would have been opened or read.

Regarding point # 3-- I really don't give a hoot- this is anonymous. If my emails end up somewhere so be it. Seriously, I doubt that- I still think this guy was very decent- we just exhausted one another and I think he is a good guy- just didn't end things very graciously or completely. That happens - I'm a big girl - moving on. Lessons learned.

So you think I'm a stalker-- and you feel compelled to let me know this why exactly??

And parent1986 - thank you for your psychological assessment of my emotional stability. Want to walk in my shoes- -end a 32 year marriage and see how you feel. Guess we all cannot live our perfect planned out lives as intended-- stuff happens, move on. I for one am a confident, successful and perfectly well balanced individual - who took a risk and had some fun followed by pain - live and learn - that is exactly what I hope my two wonderful adult children do -I hope they have the courage to take risks and live their lives - that is what life is all about. No I wouldn't tell my D or S the extent of what I've done- but my D knows some guy "broke up" abruptly - S he's busy with his video games right now- but he is no prude and as long as I'm safe, he is fine.

I have no problems with "blogging" in cyber space-- it's anonymous and has been a cathartic relief and I've had some very pragmatic suggestions and support.
I might remind you of an old Disney film "If You have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all"

Nighty night Parent1986

Pea, you're right! I had forgotten.....er, I guess repressed....that.

An uptight, moralistic person suddenly popped up and flamed Badgirl, who responded in a spirited manner, saying something like, "Lodge a complaint about the thread, if you want to."

Prior to that one very nasty post, everything was going along fine, except for some posts having been removed for incredibly benign "suggestive" joking after one or two people tsk-tsked about them.

The thread was locked shortly after the exchange between Nasty Person and Badgirl.  Then everything went "poof" when BadGirl tried to revive the thread using a different identity.

No - we will never have 40,000 hits here.  

Not even during the presidential elections in 2012. 

If I may add to what NJTheatreMom said, one of the complaints the person flaming *deleted name* had was that her posts were offensive due to their sexual content.  The ironic thing was that the flamer's post was by far the filthiest thing I've ever seen on CC.  It talked about men printing out pornography and sharing it with their coworkers and then coming home and ... I can't even repeat it.

It was the ranting of some repressed, conservative.  When they blow they blow big.

Writing back and forth to 5 men is good!  I'll bet your Valentine's Day next year is more rewarding than this one.

I'm sure that many of the readers of your CC thread would have banded together to send you flowers, had it been possible somehow!

Different forums on CC seem to have different personalities, though.

The Theater/Drama Majors forum is a pretty kind and gentle one.

Oh, I see.  That makes sense.  I never noticed them saying they had special permission.

No I don't want to return to a place where a bunch of middle aged creepers find joy in banning people that don't play by odd rules and go out of their way to find me.

My S is a reddit person -

I like CC and the people therein - but this experience killed it for me.

If I were bored with no job and had no time to kill I'll open more gmail / cc accounts just to  play with them. Profile name"underminingamod"  and add the date to ---twisted.  

The blog was just fun at some point seeing that 44000 hits erupted in 4 weeks - amazing. I think I wrote more just to see if I could pick up the numbers therein.

It would make a great movie if in fact in the end I actually married someone or worse yet,  got pregnant at 50 and then blackmailed someone - that would be more Hollywoodesque-- but I'm not that bad a bad girl!

Longprime, Pea -- can you shoot some of these profile names this link via a PM -- I cannot get in- but these people were very helpfu and posted regularlyl:

BCEagle91

NJTheatreMOM

OhioMom3000

Classof2015

jym626

roshke

UCDAlum82

That is actually cool to hear, romani. I find your generation encouraging in a lot of ways. Playing a game with CC -- love the spirit there. I believe you are correct that IPs are tracked; nevertheless spying on pm's is just creepy.

Pretty sure pm's are tracked.

Also, probably a mole from CC here, sure.

CC, when you stop and think about it, is a very weird place.