We would rather send a child to another school to be a problem for another teacher and other kids, for the cycle to continue again and again.
I work in the schools and I would be lying if I said that every kid is wonderful. Some are beyond obnoxious. Their parents are usually worse.
I have seen an autistic 10 year old boy punch a teacher's aide in the face so hard that her nose was broken. I have seen outrageous behavior from kids who had mental and physical challenges, but also ones with absolutely no impulse control.
We talk a big line about bullying behavior in our district. And yet...a teacher had to move her child out of the district because the bullying never really stopped.
I have sent three kids through the school system and I don't know what kind of punishment would be acceptable for a kid that is constantly a behavior/discipline issue. I wouldn't want my child to have their lips taped, but then they knew when they were supposed to follow the rules and what the rules were. It's so different. One kid who acts up may need to get out more for recess and another kid may need psychological help.
As a rule, I am not a fan of zero tolerance anything. I find it often ties the hands of those in charge and often makes common sense a casuality in doling out punishments.
A couple of years ago, there was this boy who seemed very, very troubled. His teacher didn't respond well to him and would tell everyone in the school who would listen what a problem this kid was. I met him and once we started interacting, found that he was a high energy kid, a little more curious than most, but was extremely helpful and very kind. I didn't see troubled at all. He didn't fit the mold of the perfectly behaved kid 100% of the time and it really bothered the teacher. If you asked him to help you with a task when he was finished with his work, he would do it. If you let him sit there while the other kids finished, he would disturb his seatmates, chew his eraser and generally just be a nuisance. This teacher saw one behavior and day after day, it wore her down I get it. But I also saw that changing the dynamic a little would create a kid who would get big rewards. A change in teachers the next year and the child is completely different.
Another kid years ago was one of the scariest kids I have ever encountered. I worry that one day, 10 years down the road I am going to hear his name on the news. He was under the care of several psychologists and mental health experts. He was also violent in the classroom.
Hitting a child teaches the child that when an adult is angry, the adult hits. It's wrong when a parent does it. It is wrong when a teacher does it. The only time a teacher should touch a child in anger is in self defense or defense of another child.
If a child behaves so badly he or she is interfering with the teaching of other students, then it is time to kick the kid out of class and out of school.
There's a story making the rounds today about a teacher's aide in GA who was fired for taping a child's mouth shut. Georgia is one of 19 states that still technically allows corporal punishment, but there is a new federal bill that would prohibit states from receiving federal aid if they don't enact corporal punishment bans.
I'm curious as to what you guys, as parents, think of this. Obviously, I wound't want a teacher beating my kid or something, but there are a lot of rules that just go too far.
Example: For the past two years, I was a teacher's aide in one of the worst schools in Michigan. However, I lucked out because I had mostly ELL kids who were VERY well behaved. But then about halfway through the first semester last year, we had a little American boy transfer into our class because he had been thrown out of another school. This boy would cuss out the teachers, myself included, and it got so bad that he eventually threw a chair at me. We would go get the principal (who was completely useless), but there wasn't much else we could do to get him to stop since you can only touch a student if they are physically assaulting another student or a teacher (apparently throwing the chair at me didn't count as assault). We called in his mother who proceeded to yell at us for angering her child (we told him he had to finish his work before he could go out for an optional recess) and demanded he be put in another class. So he was, where he later threw a chair at an actual teacher (I also think he threw a pair of scissors at her in addition to the chair) and was eventually transferred to yet another school, still without punishment of any sort. Keep in mind, I don't blame this student for what he did- he has terrible parents, but I also don't think he should have just been let off the hook for throwing things at people- if for no other reason than the fact that he is continually being taught that there are no consequences for his actions. Would I have hit this child for doing this if I were allowed? Absolutely not. Would I have picked him up and taken him to another place where he couldn't harm me and couldn't continue to do this in front of the class? Absolutely. There is absolutely no reason why the other students had to watch this unfold.
One thing that working in the schools convinced me of is that I never want to be a teacher. I actually transferred form working as a aide to working by myself in a domestic violence shelter running both the shelter and the crisis line during my shift because it was LESS stressful. Teachers get crapped on from all possible directions are virtually powerless (at least where I worked, I obviously can't generalize for everywhere). I don't envy them in the least.
Personally, I'm kind of OK with the kid's mouth being taped shut. Maybe that will change when I become a parent. I'm not ok with anyone hitting my kids, but I am ok with teachers "hurting their feelings" for lack of a better phrase by pointing out my child's bad behaviours to the class. We as a society treat our children like glass and it's obnoxious. I can tell in college right away who has never been told no by mom and dad and who had an upbringing where everyone tiptoed around making sure that their feelings never got hurt. It does a disservice to our children because they will get a very rude awakening when they enter the job market, and it should really be our job to prepare them for the real world, not one where everyone wins a trophy. I've met a lot of people who just can't deal with the professors' or their bosses' criticism of their work and it's quite sad when they break down over a bad grade or a criticism from their boss. Again, I suspect my position on this will change dramatically when I actually have a kid.
Where do you think the line should be for what a teacher can do to a child? In this school, we weren't even allowed to pick up this boy and carry him to the office so that the rest of the students didn't have to witness this. Should this policy of absolutely no contact be in place? Where is a reasonable line? Would you have demanded that this teacher's aide be fired for taping YOUR child's mouth shut?
