Today is a special day in the Man Cave. That glorious time of year, where the most sacred and holy of Man Cave holidays is celebrated, Manly style.
Time to dust off that 6' Aluminum pole, prepare that spaghetti and meat-ball fest, stretch out those tired muscles in readiness for excitement to come, and rejoice as we ready to welcome:
FESTIVUS, a holiday for the REST OF US!
Oh, revel as we watch in glory all ye feats of strength. Sing ye praises of the day that allows us to gather our loved ones around the Festivus table and air our grievances for the stupid things they have made us suffer through during the past year.
A Merry Festivus to you all, and to you all, a happy "Well, let me tell you what I think of you!"
Happy Holidays folks! And don't forget to tip the waiters...
BTW, here's hoping that Santa is especially careful with his sack of goodies as he makes he way down my chimney this year' I asked for a lot of power tools and explosives....
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You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
signed by AV but the lady/ower was an artist and had one pastel as a work-in-progress. I was on my bicycle, without my correction glassees, only my rain goggles.
They could be originals but I'd will think that they weren't, for obvious reasons.
The two completed and signed were clothe (silk draped) with strategic placement. As I said tastefully done, and would have done well in the Man Cave. Enough so that you can even bring your GF...
-- Edited by longprime on Wednesday 15th of December 2010 06:52:54 PM
I was at an estate sale, put on by the women's assistance league, They had two Vargas large, pastels, framed. $200 each or dutch auction. They were beautiful. Perfect for the Man Cave.
You could even put a honest disclaimer that these were done by a woman, and all the assistant league ladies likewise said they were beautiful. The pictures. The AL ladies were like you know ...
-- Edited by longprime on Wednesday 15th of December 2010 09:49:03 AM
Re: Sox/Yanks. On one hand, it's easy for anyone to hate the Yankees because there's no doubt that many of those 20+ can be attributed to $$$$. It's much easier to win championships when you can pretty much just buy an all star team every year. But on the other hand it's a free world, and a free market system, and they're not breaking any rules so more power to them. Besides, it's gettting harder and harder to accuse the Yankees of buying their championships when the Red Sox spend gazillions on Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez.
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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.” – Mark Twain
Well, have to tip my hat to Bean-town. You've made a pretty good showing recently in ALL the major sports. Well done, sirs...
(But the Bosox still got a few more WS titles to go to catch up to my boys in Pinstripes, if you consider 20+ a few)
A toast! To Bean-town! Here's towards your impressive and Manly accomplishments in every sport over the past decade. You have clearly absconded the name from past holders of the name "Titletown" from cities like Green Bay and Pittsburgh, so I therefore crown you: Titletown, USA!
Long live the new King! (at least until my hockey teams, football teams, and basketball teams and second cousin Baseball team from the NY/NJ can start catching up to my beloved Yankees!)
"Blows Viking Horn"
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You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
Gentlemen, When I first moved into my new home 3 years ago, my local cable provider asked if i was interested in their "Premium sports package"? Being a Man, my first inclination was "You damn betcha!" My second inclination was, "how much of my beer, explosives, and power tools" budget was this gonna cost?" (What an awesome combination, BTW! As long as everyone understands the need to do each of those three activities separately. OK, maybe two at a time, once in a while.) BL: what do I get for my hard-earned cash?
(I also won't discuss my unsuccessful attempts to save that hard-earned cash by breaking into the neighborhood cable box and flipping a switch or two to see what I could get for free. Nope, never happened. Can't prove it. But the guy next door was suddenly confused when he started receiving only Mexican wrestling channels!)
After much scratching of beard, looking off into the distance with that expressive "Man considering his options" look (you know the one), I decided "MORE sports? Heck Yeah! I want to see those Div III college water polo matches!"
Last year, something was added to that "Premium" sports package; something that once I discovered its existence, profoundly changed my life. NFL REDZONE, the best invention for men since someone figured out how boiling barley, hops, and water together made a magic elixir. NFL REDZONE, where the prominent action from EVERY Sunday game from 1:00 PM (Eastern) and 4:00 PM (eastern) are shown in all its glory. Favorite team not on, and you're stuck watching some bring game the local affiliate is obligated to show in your local market? Rejoice my friend, becuase now you can watch whatever is happening now in ALL the games. And sometimes (wait for it, wait for it) they show two or three games in split screen. And around 3:45 and 6:45, when the games are wrapping up, they'll swtich backand forth between all the close games, all those last minute drives and Hail Marys. Oh, the glory!
Thank you NFL network, for guaranteeing I will never get the chores for a Sunday afternoon done during the football season. I've got nearly 7 hours of football action to watch.
Just saying, got me some NFL REDZONE, and I like it...
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You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
First order of business in the new Man Cave: in honor of the Season --- “How MEN celebrate the holidays”…
1) After spending 2 hours searching the woods for the “perfect one”, cuts down own tree. Drags it at least ¼ mile to his truck and ties it to the roof (has to move deer carcass over to make it fit).
2) Puts up enough lights around his house to confuse the local air traffic, only because the “young-uns” like the “purty lights” and are worried Santa won’t be able to see their house. Don’t fret, little ones. The man in your life will ensure you have enough lights on your house that Santa could spot it from the International Space Station.
3) Makes sure that his favorite ornament is proudly displayed right dead-center of the tree. It’s either in homage to his favorite Sports team, his alma mater, or a 1972 vintage Budweiser ornament.
4) Hands his Missus the latest Lowes, Cabella, and Outdoor World Catalogues, with a yellow sticky on the front cover that says: “My Xmas Wish List”.
5) Puts down the remote and stops channel surfing when he catches a Budweiser Clysdale commercial; not because it’s “purty” but because he gets chocked up watching Manly sized horses pulling enough beer to last him and his friends the whole weekend.
6) Goes to bed on Xmas Eve only AFTER all the kiddies’ presents are put together and proudly displayed under the tree. A MAN’s kids wake up to PRESENTS, not boxes with wrapping paper around them.
7) Carves the piece of meat prepared by the loving Missus for the holiday gathering. Period.
8) At least once in his life, is personally responsible for the killing and preparing of that fore-mentioned piece of meat.
9) Has a train set circling his family Xmas tree. One that blows smoke.
10) Watches the last 15 minutes of “The Christmas Story” every year, because he “totally gets” the scene where the kid gets his Xmas wish of a BB Gun, and the pride the dad has giving it to him. Gets me chocked up just typing about it.
Feel free to add to the list…..
-- Edited by Bullet on Friday 10th of December 2010 10:47:37 AM
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You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
Arise! Arise all ye Manly Men.The Gods have spoken!
Cast of ye shackles of girly forum topics dedicated to idiotic reality TV celebrities and episodes of “Glee”!Rejoice that a place shall come again into existence that renounces the talk of books that make you cry, and instead celebrates heroic Manly deeds.Don ye armor of Football jerseys and authentic 1940s leather helmets that boldly announces to the World your dedication to your treasured team.
Zeus, Apollo, Odin, Thor, and ye Titans of yore, we hear your cries that the world weeps with the lack of a place where men can be men.And we respond: “Yes, we WILL arise in celebration of Manly things!Yes, we WILL gather around the fire to reminisce on days gone by and the manly ways our fathers lived them. Yes, WE WILL BE MEN!”
Glory, all ye of manly persuasion, for it has returned!The Man Cave has come back into being!
Some may suggest I call this forum "Man Cave, Part Deux" instead of "Reborn".Nay, nay, I say.We do NOT use the French language when even remotely associating anything in the Man Cave, unless we want to give a good example of the proper way to surrender.Fools, I’ve caught you in my classic trap!In the man Cave, there IS no proper way to surrender!
The Man Cave has not changed décor or management, only location.For those of you unable to remember the Cave in all its glory, I lead you to here:
Peruse as you will, and be heartened that a place that once existed that allowed Men to be Men has, like the mighty Phoenix, returned from the ashes. Better and more beautiful in its ignorance of etiquette and “all things dainty” than before!
The bar is still 12 inches deep and a mile long; it’s just been moved to here.
We still use old Jack Daniels barrels for bar stools and Gatling Gun barrels for foot rests; it’s just been moved to here.
We still have 120mm mortar shells for spittoons; it’s just been moved to here.
There are still pictures on the walls of our favorite men, doing Manly things, right next to the sports memorabilia that matters, the street signs we “borrowed” in our youths, and the heads of animals we killed ourselves; it’s all just been moved to here.
We still discuss, violently, our undying love of our favorite pastimes, our teams, our movies, and our songs; it's all just been moved to here.
I lift up my glass in our new establishment, and toast: “To the Man Cave.Let the glorification of all things Manly begin again!”
“Blows Viking Horn”
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You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
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